We recently had a big decision to make.

Our son was on the wait list for a full hospitalization program that typically lasts 45-60 days. This program is a 4.5 hour drive from our house. However, we found out that the wait would be at least 2 months. That seemed too long to wait, so we started looking into another option.

The other option was a partial hospitalization program about 3.5 hours from our home, where one of us always had to be with him. This would mean splitting up our family every Monday through Friday for 3 – 4 weeks.

Just when we had decided to do the partial hospitalization program, we received a phone call from the other facility saying that they had an unexpected opening for us. It totally shocked us!

We had to decide which route to take. Would we make life easier for us but harder for him by sending him to a full hospitalization program? He would be so alone and sad! Or would we make life harder for us but easier for him by sending him to the partial program? Then he would have a parent with him at all times!

And, what would be best for him as it pertained to his illness? Which program would be better for him? Which program would he get the most out of?

After much thought and prayer, and consulting his therapist, we ended up deciding on the partial hospitalization program.

So here we are. And it has been harder than I thought it would be. I have been aching to get home because that is where I belong. My girls miss me and my husband misses me.

And today one of my daughters puked all over my sister in law’s stairs. I want to be home for her! I want to wrap her in my arms and tell her it’s ok because mommy is going to stay with her while she feels yucky!

I feel guilty that so many people have to help us. I feel like a burden. I like to give…I don’t like to take!

But in some ways this week has become a blessing in disguise.

One of the girls in his class is going through the same program at the same time. That means he has a familiar face with him. And that means I have a mom nearby that I can talk to and relate with! I am beyond thankful for that.

And one more blessing…I think my son has said more words this week than he’s ever spoken in his life. I can’t get over it! I think he’s enjoying having his mom to himself and being away from his trigger. I have seen him revert to his old happy self. And it has given me hope. Maybe this is just what we need for him to realize that he wants to fight his OCD so that he can live a happier life.

Who knows how God will work this all to His glory and for our good? I am being reminded through this whole process to keep looking up!